this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
