I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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