I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
