I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
