I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
