i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
