We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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