Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
