I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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