whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize