Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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