Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
