They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize