I'm lost and stupid without you.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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