It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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