So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
