I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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