We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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