you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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