My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
