I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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