Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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