..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
