she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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