I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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