I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
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