I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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