I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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