i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
