I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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