dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
