im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
