worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
