yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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