There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
