KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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