I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
this will be a night to untag.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
