Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
