I think i sorta joined a cult last night
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
