everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
