i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
