Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
