I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
