Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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