Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize