Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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