What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
