if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
