Please, let me fuck your mom
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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