Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
