Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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