sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
