I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
