i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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