Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
