if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
