I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
