I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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