Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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