you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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