I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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