I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize