Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
