I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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